50 SHADES OF BLUE

 

Once Upon a Time, I was a sickenly-sweet moppet of a child, the darlingest of tots. According to my unbiased mother. And also according to mom, I developed one bad habit. If I didn’t get my way, I’d protest the unfairness by holding my breath. Until I turned blue. After several of these tantrums, fearful for my life, poor mom called the doctor, begging for his help. Doc said, “Ignore her. Walk out of the room. She just wants attention. The worst that can happen is she’ll faint and then start breathing again.”

It just about killed her, but she walked away. Being a fast learner, I never bothered turning blue again. And we all lived happily ever after.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could say that I never-ever again demanded my own way? It’s easy enough to justify being demanding in this world because I see the same behavior from others every day, usually on the news. Sometimes it has to do with which direction one’s knees are bent, up or down. Protesting in its many forms is demanding attention, wanting what we want when we want it. And if we don’t get it, we’ll “hold our breath” in one way or another until we get it.

Although I’ve never tried holding my breath literally in adulthood, since the Lord saved me, it has now occurred to me that maybe, sometimes, rarely, I’ve done it spiritually. If He isn’t giving me what I ask for, speedily, well, I recognize that I have indeed held my spiritual breath as an incentive to Him to produce-or-else.

It’s unnerving to see that in print, to admit to myself and to Him that this is in my heart. It’s obvious that turning spiritually “blue” means that I don’t believe His way is best, no matter what His timeline is. It’s an obvious lack of trust, and God has never been a fan of whining and complaining children. He doesn’t panic about His kids’ behavior. The wandering Israelites learned that the hard way, moaning about their wandering and His manna provision (Numbers 21:4-5).

My patient and loving Father, thank You for gently (and sometimes forcibly) teaching me to stop holding my spiritual breath in a bid for what I think is proper attention and instant gratification. Sometimes I’m a slow learner, thinking that feeding my pride is preferable to humbly and joyfully trusting in You with all my heart. Please help me to remember that You graciously give me breath every day. I want to live out Your written word in Psalm 50, and be like all creation, that everything (including me) that has breath praise the Lord. Thank You for causing me daily not to hold my breath, but to breathe out praise for Your excellent greatness!

 

LIONS, LOLLY-GAGGING, AND LA-DI-DAH

 

My hubby will testify that I’m a real critter lover. He’s afraid to take me the zoo, or festivals, or a neighborhood walk, for fear that I’ll come home with a new fuzzy lovebug, be it cat, dog, goat, iguana ... okay, so the iguana isn’t fuzzy, but I’d gladly buy it a fuzzy sweater. And now I must guard against torpedoing the 10^th Commandment because our friends are going on African safari next month where they can have hands-on experiences with cheetas, elephants, and wildebeasts.

As much as I love to watch nature documentaries, the one thing I don’t handle well is the videos of one breed taking down another for food purposes. I see it in my own home, when I watch our cats stalk and demolish a cricket. I know, it’s nature, the way it’s supposed to be, survival of the fittest. But I’d much rather not witness this much reality. Yes, I am indeed a wimp.

And now you’re asking me, “and your point would be?” Here it is. Read 1 Peter 5:8 -- “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” Now take a good look at the photo above, taken by me, on our deck a few winters ago. The birds had found some leftover kitty kibble and were having a heyday, as evidenced by the many wee birdie footprints. And if you look closely, you’ll spy with your little eye ... the single kitty paw print. Like the song that you can’t get out of your head, so this photo and verse should be stuck in your head, only for a better purpose.

The feline’s expertise is a picture of Satan’s. He takes advantage of the weak, the straggler, the unaware, the apathetic, the lolly-gagger. His grubby little footprints are all over Scripture for me to see as an example of his effect on those who weren’t paying attention when he snuck up on them for the physical, emotional and/or spiritual kill.

When believers are at their most vulnerable is when he strikes. Sometimes that vulnerability is from outside sources, like persecution, illness, etc. But vulnerability can also be the result of disobedience, pride, greed. “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father, but is from the world” (1 John 2:16)

Gracious Father, I know that, as Your child, I can never be taken from Your hand (John 10:28-29). But it is definitely up to me not to languish and “la-di-dah” through my days, assuming that because I’m Yours, that the diabolical one has lost interest. That would be the dumbest assumption I could make. You have lovingly provided me with Your armor, and Your insistence that I put it on, so that I “will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil” (Ephesians 6:11-17). Furthermore, You have gifted me with “the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.” Being aware does not mean living in fear, because You are with me always. And besides my little picture of critter footprints, the “big picture” is that Satan is not long for this world, because You, my Jesus, have already conquered Satan. How I look forward to being with You for all eternity, in a divinely Satan-free environment!

CHIRPING BIRDS AND BUSTED BOTTLES

In my humble opinion, this is the proper way to walk a pup -- in the seasonally glorious woods, with fresh air, chirping birds, bubbling brooks, Bambi, munchkins, and most important, convenient benches for tired old people with hyperactive pups, all of whom require copious amounts of sugar-saturated energy snacks.


As opposed to ... traipsing down the sidewalk on our boulevard where people in wannabe racecars shoot off the nearby highway, spasming along at warp speed, tossing out bottles of who-knows-what (although I do) which shatter all over driveways and sidewalks. ’Tis certainly a different type of exercise for us, less like sauntering, more like frantic hopscotching, avoiding spiked and splintery shards scattered about, capable of shredding even the thickest of athletic shoes, and certainly delicate wee puppy paws.

 

Upon consideration, is anyone’s life really like the Bambi-walk through the woods? Nah. Most people’s lives, occasionally or frequently, resemble the hopscotch through the city’s shards. Not to sound cheerless, but diligence is necessary in maneuvering through life. And when we insist on powering through on our own wisdom, well, things can get messy really fast. At least that’s been true in my own life. More than once. Slowwwww learner.

 

What’s my point? Well, as I’m walking our little Minnie pup through the obstacle-shard-course, from my tall long-legged human vantage point, I have a pretty good view of the surrounding area. Short-legged puppy’s vantage point is spectacularly limited, and she could care less about danger. Her goal in life is to smell every blade of grass and pee on it. 

 

So here’s my point -- it’s my job to maneuver her safely through her walk, by guiding and sometimes pulling her away from the shards aiming to cause her harm. I want her to pay more attention to me than she does to peeing on things. Does Minnie WANT to be guided by me? No, she wants to do her thing, when and how she wants to do it. Does that behavior sound familiar? Yes, and I’m ashamed of myself. Because even at my somewhat advanced age, I still find myself lurching away from the guidance of the Holy Spirit, demanding to do things my own way, because hey! I’m gonna do what I want. That’s what happens when I forget the velvety admonition that “pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling” (Proverbs 16:18).

 

My all-seeing and all-knowing God, forgive me for refusing to stop and consider that You see things that I cannot, things that You desire to guide me through and around, so that I’m not hurt. No doubt You’ll take me places I’d rather not go for my good and Your glory, but please cause me to pay more attention to You than on my sensory miscalculations. Remind me as often as necessary in Your Word how much you un-love pride and self-sufficiency, and how much You really love humility of heart and trust in You (Proverbs 3:5-6). I am full of praise as You lead me to become less selfish and more faithful as You walk me through the rest of my life.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN

Upon a Time, there was a kindly crazy cat lady who generously fed and housed feral kitties on her back deck.  Eventually, the lady thought it would be in their best interests if they were captured and taken to a real home with food, shelter, and love.  So the elaborate cage was installed, and one by one, the two babes (and their mama) followed the tempting treats into the cage, and off they went to a better life.  Now they frequently send postcards of their days on the beach.

 

However, the last kitty, named Bernie, has steadfastly refused to enter the cage.  He knows there’s food in there, but he’s too “smart” to humble himself, accept help, and enter into a new and comfortable future.  He says to the lady, “I’m quite happy, thank you, with my independence.”  Even in sweltering summer and frozen-tundra winter, and low food supplies, uncouth beasts, and gross diseases, Bernie says he knows best and chooses to do what he wants, regardless of the outcome for himself, or the other ferals he will soon lead astray.  Yessir, Bernie is just too smart for his own good.  He will wind up starved, cold, and alone, and he’ll pass on fatal diseases to others, but hey, he still has his pride!

And as He is prone to do, the Lord showed me myself, both before, and during, my salvation.  He is very diligent to explain in His Word that every single sinner is born with chronic “wise in their own eyes” syndrome (Judges 21:25; Proverbs 3:7, 26:12; Isaiah 5:21; Romans 12:16).  That’s why nobody comes to God on their own, because their Tyrannosaurus pride obscures their spiritual vision, and they’re unable to see or love God.  He loved me first, humbled me to see Who He is, and drew me to Himself.  Yes, I am saved, but I’ve discovered that dismantling of self-sufficient pride continues to be a lifelong project.

Motivation is key – why do I want to be humble, when being self-sufficiently prideful and conceited seems to be more fun?  Well, do I love God and want to please Him?  Or don’t I?  Well, yes, I do want to please Him.  Even though there are times when my own self seems more important than my own God, in no way should I believe that my earthly accumulated intelligence supersedes His divine and perfect wisdom.  Listening to Him, and not me, is my foremost motivation (Job 15:8).  Dumping my pride will also prevent me from taking a physical and/or spiritual “tumble” (Proverbs 16:18) and dragging someone else along with me.  If I’m to be fruitful to others, I must first be humble (Philippians 2:3-4).  If others are offering me their own fruit, I must be even more humble.

My Father, it’s obvious that You detest haughty eyes (Proverbs 6:16-17), and that You love humility (Isaiah 66:2, James 4:10, 1 Peter 5:6).  You caught me and humbled me, when I was still too “smart” for my own good.  My Jesus, You were born to die, and You humbled Yourself on the Cross, for my benefit and God’s glory.  You are God’s perfect gift, and indeed, You are the gift that keeps on giving, all year long.  Your endless mercy and grace is what keeps me from wanting to display feral pride and instead, being daily grateful for all Your provisions.  Because of this, I indeed feel very “merry” every Christmas, and every day in between!