50 SHADES OF BLUE

 

Once Upon a Time, I was a sickenly-sweet moppet of a child, the darlingest of tots. According to my unbiased mother. And also according to mom, I developed one bad habit. If I didn’t get my way, I’d protest the unfairness by holding my breath. Until I turned blue. After several of these tantrums, fearful for my life, poor mom called the doctor, begging for his help. Doc said, “Ignore her. Walk out of the room. She just wants attention. The worst that can happen is she’ll faint and then start breathing again.”

It just about killed her, but she walked away. Being a fast learner, I never bothered turning blue again. And we all lived happily ever after.

Wouldn’t it be nice if I could say that I never-ever again demanded my own way? It’s easy enough to justify being demanding in this world because I see the same behavior from others every day, usually on the news. Sometimes it has to do with which direction one’s knees are bent, up or down. Protesting in its many forms is demanding attention, wanting what we want when we want it. And if we don’t get it, we’ll “hold our breath” in one way or another until we get it.

Although I’ve never tried holding my breath literally in adulthood, since the Lord saved me, it has now occurred to me that maybe, sometimes, rarely, I’ve done it spiritually. If He isn’t giving me what I ask for, speedily, well, I recognize that I have indeed held my spiritual breath as an incentive to Him to produce-or-else.

It’s unnerving to see that in print, to admit to myself and to Him that this is in my heart. It’s obvious that turning spiritually “blue” means that I don’t believe His way is best, no matter what His timeline is. It’s an obvious lack of trust, and God has never been a fan of whining and complaining children. He doesn’t panic about His kids’ behavior. The wandering Israelites learned that the hard way, moaning about their wandering and His manna provision (Numbers 21:4-5).

My patient and loving Father, thank You for gently (and sometimes forcibly) teaching me to stop holding my spiritual breath in a bid for what I think is proper attention and instant gratification. Sometimes I’m a slow learner, thinking that feeding my pride is preferable to humbly and joyfully trusting in You with all my heart. Please help me to remember that You graciously give me breath every day. I want to live out Your written word in Psalm 50, and be like all creation, that everything (including me) that has breath praise the Lord. Thank You for causing me daily not to hold my breath, but to breathe out praise for Your excellent greatness!

 

SAFETY NET



You know how it is when you bring home a fragile and shiny new baby?  Or in our case, it's more often a shiny new puppy or kitty.  The first thing you do is baby-proof the house.  Doesn't matter what it is, everything in the house is a potential disaster zone and you'll do everything possible to cover, soften, or replace any objects to keep your babe from doing harm to him/herself.  And sometimes, the thought creeps in, "how about encasing the babe in super-thick bubblewrap until adulthood?"  Even as a senior citizen, I consider wrapping myself in the bubbles because I'm still a klutz.

At any rate, while it's true that kids eventually understand that mom and dad are responsible for providing the obvious ... food, clothing, and housing ... kids are blissfully oblivious to everything else the folks do on a daily basis to ensure the kids' survival in the world.

I remember a long time ago, a very elderly lady at my church would occasionally ask me, "so what's the Lord been doing in your life this week?"  It's obvious in Scripture that He's responsible for my life and every breath (Acts 17:25), for every season (Genesis 8:22), for His great salvation (Titus 2:11).   But she wasn't asking me about the obvious, she was trying to spur me to think about the subtle ways He may be working. It's certainly good exercise for the soul.  And today, I read where God told Abimelech, "I also kept you from sinning against Me" (Genesis 20:6).

Just as children are unaware of how diligent parents work as their safety net, so am I oblivious to what my Father does on a daily basis for me by restraining me from the sin I could be indulging in.  I am so thankful that He did not give me over to my sinful self (Romans 1:24, 26, 28), but instead, has turned me to His glorious self.

There are not enough words to thank You, my gracious and merciful Father, for  being my "safety net" in ways I will never know.  And I am thankful that Your Spirit now prompts me to start each day by asking You to prevent me from sinning, not just against myself, but most importantly, against You.