WONDERING AS I WANDER

 

Today, my hubs and I had a rather Twilight-Zone-ish experience.  All we wanted was to use a gift card to dine out at a favorite local restaurant.  We drove the 20 minutes, zoomed into the parking lot, and saw … a ghostly building with a “closed permanently” sign on the front door.  What a drag.  Oh well, we’ll just Google the address of the second restaurant on the gift card.  And by golly, this restaurant ALSO was permanently closed!  Whaaaat?  Ok, the third restaurant on the card we KNEW was open because we’d eaten there a couple of weeks ago.  We drove another 20 minutes and arrived at a very closed building, but for this day only, for preventative repairs.  By now, my stomach is gurgling and my blood sugar is starting to dive, and those little peppermint patties in my purse are siren-calling to me. I’m muttering in my mind that this is too hard, we should just go home and have a double-decker p.butter/jelly.  We forget about the gift card and head for another favorite reliable restaurant … you guessed it.  Finally, luck came with #5, where we indulged in something breaded, cheesy, and gooey.  I desired a huge chocolate cake to finish off the meal, mostly to sublimate my confusion and low-level frustration, but I refrained from cake today.

 

Why am I dragging you along for this ride, you ask?  Because, as usual, in my pondering of bad “luck” the Lord showed me to myself.  Again.  As I insolently  asked Him, “so, exactly what was I supposed to learn from this runaround today?” and He said, “go sit in a corner with my Word and think about it.”

 

Ya know how when you’re reading in the Old Testament about the wandering, grumbling, disobedient Israelites in the desert for 40 years, and you think to yourself, “well, I would never behave that way.”  Really?  Pride, much?  I then saw a gross similarity between me and them.  I was wanting to go home and have pb&j.  They wanted to go back to Egypt where all the yummy food was (Exodus 16:2-3).  I grumbled about running in circles all over town for an hour, dodging road construction.  They “were impatient because of the journey” and dodging the Lord’s disciplinary lessons (Numbers 21:45).  Oh yeah, I’m waaaaay more righteous and pious than those guys.

 

My God, how I thank You, first for causing me to ask You for your purpose (even though with an attitude).  And second, for Your immediate answer.  I thank You that I needn’t worry about dying in the wilderness as immediate punishment for my attitude, because I know that You have already permanently transferred me to your Kingdom.  I need fear no divine vengeance from You, knowing that your loving divine discipline is for my good and Your glory.  I praise Your patience and tender mercy in dealing with me, your whiny child, teaching me to whine less, glorify me less, and praise You more.

MOVING DAY

A few years ago, my hubs and I pondered about moving from our home of almost 30 years.  We were motivated by a desire not to drive 30 minutes to various locations, when we could instead drive for 5 or 10 minutes, or even walk.

We viewed semi-glorious semi-affordable homes on realty websites and imagined our lives for the better.  Then, after being whipped into insanity by our imaginations, we'd plummet back to earth when we found out the property should be condemned, due to cracked foundations or imploding roofs.  We also considered the actual physical work necessary for moving out of our home, i.e., massive junk-tossing, cleaning, repairing, and probable torching of basement varmints.  And we could possibly rupture one of our elderly vital organs in the process.  Not to mention, there's the glee of changing addresses with the post office, changing phone numbers, and changing driver's licenses.  So now, we're thinking, mayyyybeee we'll just stay here for awhile longer.  I need a nap now.

Yeah, staying put means being comfortable with the familiar and indulging in the "unlabor" perks of our retirement.  Okay, we're lazy.

And as usual, the Lord put a twist on my circumstances.  When I consider the final and permanent "moving day" -- the day I die -- does that prospect give me great joy?  Or does it cause me to think, "it's too much work to get ready.  I'd rather just stay here."

Before my salvation, I definitely wanted to stay here.  I didn't want to change my address from earth to whatever-I-thought-heaven-was (dull).  I didn't want to change anything about me, a/k/a sin behavior.  I didn't want to leave behind all my nifty stuff that I'd worked so hard to accumulate.

"But God" ... my favorite phrase ... He saved me, and now, I'm oh-so-ready to move, to live with Him.  There's no angst involved, because I don't really have to DO anything to prepare for this move ... other than confess daily sin, which He faithfully forgives (1 John 1:9).  And every day, I find myself loosening my tight hold on all my earthly stuff, because I can't take it with me (Ecclesiastes 5:10-15).  I don't even want to, because what He has waiting for me will make everything here look like wormy-dirt in comparison.

Thank You, my Jesus, that You have already cleaned up, dejunked, and uncondemned me.  You have already prepared a place for me (John 14:3).  This move will be instantaneous, with no effort on my part, because You are my professional "mover" (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17).  Even though I'm still physically here, You tell me that I've already been permanently transferred to Your kingdom (Colossians 1:13).  Anytime I allow myself to get antsy about the daily crud of life, please grab me with Your eternal perspective and make me remember that because You love me, you are taking permanent eternal care of me.